so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
