I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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