It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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