I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Everything about him screamed your future.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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