It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
