She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize