this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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