3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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