You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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