Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
