im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
