guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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