I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
