i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Watching her eat just hurts me
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
