Rock
Scissors
Fuck
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
