So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
