I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
