well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
