one might say we're banned from that church
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
