I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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