Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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