If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
