I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
