Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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