She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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