laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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