I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
