And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
