someone owes me an orgasm
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
