Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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