Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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