you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
