I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
