he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We don't watch enough power rangers
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
