do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
