I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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