OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize