girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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