what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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