Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I puked a lego.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
