Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
