you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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