i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
