I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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