um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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