college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
