he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize