I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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