So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
