Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She told me I should be a condom model.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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