don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
