btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The struggles of a small town man whore
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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