Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
