Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
