I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
The struggles of a small town man whore
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I need to calm my uterus...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
