what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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