Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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