dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
