You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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