i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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